Long distance call?

Well, if you scare him away, then there really isn't a connection on a deeper level and you might as well avoid the fall (or at least make sure your hopes haven't gotten high enough to make it really painful), right? If you're not sure where you want it to go, either, then you could just hold off and see where things go...but it sure sounds like the question is inevitable, and if he's truly commitment-phobic, I don't think waiting's going to change anything.